An Attitude of Gratitude #365reasons

Update: This didn't last as long as I intended, by quite some way! I think it did make me more thankful, but my perseverance leaves a lot to be desired, and I'm definitely still a long way from being as thankful as i could be. Re-reading this has challenged me to think about this again!



No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

'Thanks'. One of those words we say so often it completely loses meaning. Like when you repeat a word over and over until it doesn't sound real any more: spoon. Spoon. Spooon. Spoonspoonspoonspoon.spOOn. spoon. Is that even a word? Point proved. My actual point is, I've been really challenged at the start of this new year to rethink thankfulness. To rediscover the meaning of 'thanks'. Apparently 'thanks' appears in the bible 151 times. It clearly an important topic!

What does it mean to 'always be thankful' or to 'give thanks in all circumstances' as the NIV phrases it? It's easier to be thankful when things are going well than when life gets tough. But this verse clearly tells us we should be thankful in both these situations (and everything in beteeen. Like every theory in Constitutional Law I'm sure this is a continuum and life generally sits somewhere on the scale between perfection and disaster.)  Let's start with the  times when life is going well. Easy to be thankful, right? Or perhaps not... 

I know I'm guilty of taking so many things for granted, for focusing on what I don't have as opposed to what I do. There's been a lot of articles recently calling us the 'entitled generation'. In some ways I think this is unfair - we are a generation that is repeatedly condemned, and this needs to stop. But that's another discussion for another time. I think the problem of entitlement is very real, but extends beyond  my generation to my parents' generation as well. For those of you who haven't read these articles I'm talking about, the problem of entitlement is as follows: We have started to believe we are entitled to the good things in life, that we have a right to them. Entitled to meat 7 days a week. Entitled to a car. Entitled to a foreign holiday at least once a year. Entitled to fast internet and good phone signal. Entitled to nice clothes. And with this sense of entitlement, we have forgotten what a privilege these things are. So we complain when we don't get them, rather than giving thanks when we do. I'm as guilty of this as the next person (you've all heard the rant about internet speed back home in Sheriffhales...!) Why would we be entitled us to any of these? If we look at ancient kings, they had nightly entertainment, luxury bathing, wine, spices from around the world and time to admire the wonders of nature. Is that really so different to our lifestyle? I'm not saying we should throw away these things and adopt a John-the-Baptist-camel-hair-and-locusts life instead. I'm saying we need to consciously change our attitude from one of entitlement to one of gratitude. To intentionally recognise the things we do have, and to be thankful for them. It's all too easy not to recognise how much we have until we don't have it anymore. In the words of Passenger:

"Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you’re missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go"

Consumerism has a lot to answer for regarding this attitude of entitlement and dissatisfaction. One of the biggest myths is that the market exists to create satisfied customers, but if we think about it, it’s actually the opposite. A truly satisfied customer would never return to the shop. Business depends on us being satisfied just enough to appreciate what we've bought, but not satisfied enough to be content with just one purchase. This constant desire for more has spilled over into the rest of our lives. 1 Timothy 6:6 says 'Godliness with contentment is great gain'. Contentment is not having everything you want. Nor is it grudgingly settling for less than you think you deserve because that's a holy thing to do (Holy points are not actually a thing.) Contentment is the attitude of realising how much we already have. When we find contentment, it frees us from the never ending cycle of needing more. Of having to work longer hours to get a better holiday than the last one, which then doesn't quite meet our expectations, so we work even harder to get an even better holiday etc.  This is one of the reasons I think we are told to be thankful - because in giving thanks we are focussing on the good things we have, rather than the things we don't. 

So what about those situations when life seems rubbish. When everything goes wrong. When you're behind on work, missing home, your bike breaks and to top it all off your pick-me-up cup of tea has fairy liquid in cause in washing the mug you only got as far as putting the fairy in... (True story. That was the low point of last term.) Or even worse. Life really can suck sometimes. Surely God can't expect us to be thankful then, when there is nothing to be thankful for? But then if we look back at the verse, it says 'in all circumstances'. That means the low points too. For me, this is definitely harder to fix than my lack of thankfulness in the good times. I think the book of Psalms is a real gift in these situations, and reflect the attitude we should try and take. The psalmists pour our their raw emotion when life went wrong. Yet it is always turned round to praise. Take Psalm 42 - As the deer pants for streams of water, so I long for you. You've probably sung this to the horrendously twee tune we've attached to it. I remember someone saying once that screamo/heavy metal would be a more appropriate genre for this psalm. Deer do not skip around happily when they are dying from dehydration. This psalm is one of AGONY. Of screaming out at God. Yet the psalmist then turns it back round to praise.

v11: 'Why am I so discouraged? 

Why am I so sad? 

I will put my hope in God! 

I will praise him again - my Saviour and my God'. 

In these times, it's ok to scream at God. But we need to remember his faithfulness too, and turn back to praise. If we look hard enough, there will usually be something to still be thankful for. Search for this, and hold onto it. But if we can find nothing else to be thankful for, if everything really has been taken away from us, we know that salvation and hope in our saviour Jesus Christ has not. We can depend on the character and faithfulness and love of God - there are so many promises of this in the bible. The chance to have a relationship with God is the biggest privilege we could ever have been given. We therefore will always have something to be thankful for. And in these low situations, turn to the psalms for support, encouragement and guidance. They have been given to us as part of scripture to help us pray when we can't find the words ourselves. Use them! (Same goes for the good times too - literally every emotion is covered in there!)

To be always thankful is a hard ask, but it's something I really want to work towards this year. I believe in order to do this, thankfulness needs to become a way of life, not just something I do on occasion. I want to have an attitude of gratitude in everything I do. To start with, I'm going to have to be really intentional about this. To purposely look for and make opportunities to be thankful. I hope by the end of the year it will become more natural, but I know it's not going to be a finished work by this time next year. 

I hope that in doing this, I will gain freedom from the pressure to always have the next, best, biggest things, and that it will lead me to live a less self-centred life, where I am not consumed by a desire to increase my own share. That I will find contentment in realising just how much I already have. I love Matt Redman's song, "10,000 reasons", and when thinking about thankfulness at the beginning of the year, I was really struck by the line '10,000 reasons for my heart to find...' 10,000 is a lot, so I thought I'd start with a more realistic target of 365...  I know I missed the boat somewhat with new years resolutions (but since when have I done anything the normal way...!), but each day for the next year I want to post something I'm thankful for on my twitter account. Some days it might be big things, and other days it'll be the little things. I think they're both of importance - God is God in all our life, not just the big things. 

Why am I doing this publically? 1) I hope it will encourage and inspire others towards thankfulness, even if just for a moment in their day. 2) More importantly, it means you can hold me accountable to this much easier than if it was just in a journal. Please hold me to this, and if I get slack please please pick me up on it. You have my permission!! 

If this is something you fancy having a go at, I'd love you to join me in this! Pick whatever number you like -maybe just try it for a week (#7reasons) or take it up for a month (#31reasons) or for lent (#40reasons), or go the whole hog and join me for the year (#365reasons)!! And if you'd just like to follow my attempts to stay thankful, you'll find me on twitter.

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The Reluctant Law Student...

That's me. Can't think of a much better way to sum my position up right now. Not that I can take any credit for that title...but let's start at the beginning and I'll get to that (and why the blog's been restarted and had a face lift)!

20 years and 14 days ago, on 8th December 1994...
Ok...let's not start right at the beginning! Fast forward 18 and a bit years to when I started this blog. I had just finished my A Levels and was preparing to go off on a gap year that would take me to Tanzania and Colombia. And rather disgustingly cheesily I would 'find myself' (or at least find out a lot more about myself). But more importantly I would find God in a totally new way.

Those of you who have known me a while or have heard my testimony will know I've been brought up a Christian, and would have called myself a Christian well before this gap year. I don't dispute that now. But belief in God isn't an end goal - it's a journey. We focus so much on the ends in our culture that it can be all to easy to forget the significance of the means by which we get there. What I learnt and experienced over my time away resulted in a real deepening of my faith and a much clearer understanding of God's unconditional love for me, and what the amazing consequences of Jesus' death and resurrection actually mean for me on a day to day basis, as well as an eternal level. Before you accuse me of over-glamourising cross cultural mission work, I'm not saying my time abroad was easy. In fact if you read some of my blog posts you'll realise it can be demoralising, hard, sweaty, dirty work. But at the same time I found it a lot easier to hear God in it all (and we did have some pretty amazing times too!). Without the comforts of a culture and language I knew, and out of my natural skill area, dependence on God was not an option. It was a necessity.

And then I had to come home and go to uni. It's a good job I applied for deferred entry - there's no way I would have actually applied during my gap year. When I came home from Colombia I spent the weeks counting down, saying 'Come on God, you've got 6 weeks to give me something else other than this uni place'. At Momentum I was eagle eyed for any possible opportunities. And in-keeping with God's beautiful sense of humour, everything I looked at or picked up said 'graduate degree required'. TYPICAL! So reluctantly I headed down to Cambridge to study law.

I expected a lot of work. I didn't expect quite so much work! But I've settled in well. I live with an amazing group of people. The other law students at Jesus College are really great too. As are the CU. And I've found a church home at Eden Baptist, which is full of friendly people. But all term I've been fighting God. I couldn't dispute the fact that he had called me there (although had he changed his mind and told me to fly off to the other side of the world, I'd have been there in a second!), but I was constantly questioning if I'd somehow ended up doing the wrong subject. It's a lot harder to find where God fits into law than it was to see God in my gap year projects. I was praying for confirmation all term and yet closing my mind to every time God answered that, because it wasn't what I wanted to hear. Had I really learnt nothing in my gap year?!

Claire, another law student at Jesus, and all round incredible woman of God, had a vision to create a group for other Christian law students. I caught the vision of this and subsequently we spent all term scheming and praying for how this would advance. We've had endless meetings and coffees with different people, several Skype calls, and lots of connections made for us. It's one of those instances where God just opens doors and things fall into place. Yet despite all of this, I was still adamant that law wasn't really what I should be doing. Two days before coming back home for the Christmas vacation (it's not a holiday - we've had that one clarified many a time!!) we met with Timothy Laurence, from the Lawyers Christian Fellowship in London, who wanted to reach out to law students as well. It turns we've each come to the same vision independently and God's now connected us up in the middle. When Timothy was telling us about his background, he introduced himself as a 'reluctant law student'. Claire looked at me and burst out laughing - it summed up me and all my complaining about having to study law in a nutshell! Timothy's explanation of how Law and God fit together made so much sense, and things began to fall into place. It's not a completed work, and I still fall under the title of a reluctant law student (especially when I'd rather be baking mince pies than reading R v Brown, and my Facebook feed is full of beach pictures from Santa Marta) but at least I'm now a reluctant law student confident in God's calling - even though I have absolutely no idea of the reason why yet.

I've really missed blogging, writing about all the random thoughts that go through my head. So at the request of a few people, I've decided to take it up again. In one of my procrastination sessions I have given it a make-over (complete with background photo from Bogotá - you can't escape Colombia just yet!). I'm planning on writing in 3 main categories: Crime (for anything law related), Corinthians (for anything faith related) and Cake (for all the food related goodness. Let's be honest this will probably be the biggest category...!). All my gap year posts are still on here, should you be sad enough to want to re-read them...And one day I will finish my blipfoto journal!

I hope you find some encouragement (or light relief...) through my blog. Please feel free to leave me comments, and if there's ever anything you'd love to know my thoughts about, send me a message and I'll write you a post (insert legal disclaimer here just in case I don't)!

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